Taken by an evening chill,
I leave my sun-soaked seat,
Forsaking hummingbirds
That trouble trumpet vines
And bumblebees that startle
At their sudden rise and fall.
Conceding feeders to
The scrabbling squirrels
And serviceberries to
The reign of mockingbirds,
I force my trembling self
To pause as life,
Unshaken by the coming
Of the night,
Grows dark against
The purple evening sky.
"Unshaken by the coming
ReplyDeleteOf the night,"
This so very real for me Karen. It brought to mind the feeling I had the first night I returned to my home after the death of my husband - I so much wanted to be
"Unshaken by the coming
Of the night,"
Summer nights seem to offer a most special solace. It is felt in your words.
u very much are a nature poet. reading u is like reading the romantics,scenic and vivid.
ReplyDeleteall the very best.
This is a beautiful poem-- one of my favorites by you. The rhythm draws the reader thru the lines nicely, & the images all work together so well. I love the part about the mockingbirds & the serviceberries, & the lines Rose Marie mentioned are also very "right."
ReplyDeleteHi, Karen. Yes, this is very beautiful. I love all of the images, all of those peaceful scenes of nature. I feel like I'm sitting right there with the narrator. I agree with John about the serviceberries and the mockingbirds. So beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI love the variety in your work. One week, I'm dancing. Another week, I'm riding a train. Other times, it's very poignant. This week, it's so peaceful and contemplative. But there's a hint of something maybe a little "darker" in those last three stanzas. I love that mystery. Wonderful poem:)
She's Eighteen
ReplyDeleteMy old cat lies in
the open these days, lies on
the shady cool slabs
beside the driveway
as if she dares any dog
who might care to give
her grief to dash up
and maul her. Perhaps she's done,
ready any day.
don't we all chill and tremble in anticipation of our dark hour having known the color and vibrance of the living day..... do we not all long for..... more......
ReplyDeletebeautiful poem
lovely and thought provoking poem!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem. Could hear the last lines shout out at me.
ReplyDeletePS: What are the odds of finding Bumblebee here.
Going to watch Transformers today. I like Bumblebee a lot. :P
I agree with John: I think this is one of your best. More intuitive, perhaps.
ReplyDeleteThanks to each of you for the comments and critiques. I am trying to really find my voice as a poet.
ReplyDeleteRose Marie - I am happy that the poem speaks to you, but sorry that it should bring back that painful time. You say that the summer nights bring solace, and I am happy that you are finding some of that.
extremity - Thank you very much, both for visiting and commenting. That's a very flattering statement you made!
John - Thank you. I hope I'm getting better... trying, anyway.
Julie - Thanks. As I said above, I'm trying to find my voice. I can read other poets and know immediately who they are. With mine, not so, yet each one of them is me. I don't know how or if I should change that, but I must seem like I have multiple personalities! LOL (The funny thing is that I'm not a "moody" person, but I must certainly seem so.)
Christopher - Old cats, old dogs, us...ready or not, huh?
ghost - great link and comment. Thank you!
Jana - Thanks!
Ani - Bumblebee? I'm no Transformers fan, but Wolverine? Well, that's a different story... ;-)
Dave - Thank you. I am pleased with it, I'll admit.
lovely, karen... will now look for a cozy corner for a wee snooze ;)
ReplyDeleteVery nice Karen, as the day draws to an end.
ReplyDeletelw - Time for a nap or a howl at that gorgeous moon? Thanks for being such a good bloggging friend.
ReplyDeleteGeorge - Welcome back and thank you much.
how you play light & dark against each other in this - literally & figuratively - is fantastic - you do so much with a moment - and you frame it in a way that is absorbing.
ReplyDeleteyour comment about finding your voice is interesting - though i don't know if we find it as much as it finds us, line by line and piece by piece - but i think yours is stronger than you may realize.
Joaquin - Thank you, especially for your comment on my voice. I am such an insecure writer of poetry (hence, the secretive nature of my endeavors) that I don't really know what to think of even those poems that please me. I never stack up against my own standards. I do know that when I'm in process, I enter into the poem and that is a wonderful feeling of being.
ReplyDeleteI also know that if I want to get better, I must write more and more. I can't tell you how much I appreciate having writers like you to encourage me in this. Thank you.
Karen, so sorry I'm coming to this late...
ReplyDeletewhat a poignant poem - giving us the end of day and the "early evening" of life. From the first word, I feel its pensive mood and wistful reach. This poem is truly one of my favorites.
Love how you transpose here:
I force my trembling self
To pause as life,
Unshaken by the coming
Of the night,
Grows dark against
The purple evening sky.
"... I enter into the poem and that is a wonderful feeling of being." Karen, this is the confront and resolve that brings such solace to the writing of poetry. And as I allow reverie and revelation to bring myself to a deeper awareness, gratitude and praise soar. Momentary sadness and perceived loss transmute to a deeper faith. This our communication... You are deeply appreciated dear Karen.
ReplyDeleteKaye - Dearest friend, thank you for always understanding. Your words mean more than you can know.
ReplyDeleteRose Marie - You are so right - it is that feeling that bring about the gratitude and praise, even in sadness. Thank you for reminding me of this.
I wonder, is that a photograph or a painting? Either way, it's beautiful.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I've been remiss in visiting you; I really haven't been online much.
ReplyDeleteI loved the hummingbirds that "trouble trumpet-vines". Oh, heck! I loved all of it!
Kat
JR - a photo; it is a beautiful evening, yes? I didn't take it, and wish I could remember to whom I owe the credit. I'm going to do better about hat.
ReplyDeleteKat - I have missed you! I know how busy you are with your mother. I hope she had a good vacation (hope you both did) and look forward to talking to you more soon.
Thanks for the line call.