I lost a haiku.
Somewhere on the way to work,
It flew from the car.
Somewhere on the way to work,
Between the dashboard and the zigzag lines,
I dropped a haiku from my mind.
I said it to myself and to the air
And to a clutch of crows
Astretch the power lines,
But somewhere on the way to work
Between the dashboard and the clutch of crows
Sitting on the power lines
Like exclamations on the sky,
I dropped a haiku from my mind.
I searched for it along the power lines
Between the dashboard and the hanging leaves
Bowing with the morning trees,
But somewhere on the way to work
Between the dashboard and the hanging leaves
Bending with the trees
Like supplicants to sunrise,
I dropped a haiku from my mind.
I hoped to find it caught among the boughs
Between the dashboard and the hills of green
Climbing to the rising sun,
But somewhere on the way to work
Between the dashboard and the climbing hills
Escorting me through morning
Like ushers garbed in green,
I dropped the haiku from my mind.
I sought for it among the climbing hills
Between the dashboard and the parking lot
Swallowing my car
Like an open mouth,
But somewhere on the way to work
Between the dashboard and the workday world
Waiting to devour my life
Like an eater of rhymes,
I dropped a haiku from my mind.
Lovely - and very ingenious. It amused very much, and I thank you for that because I needed it.
ReplyDeleteI like this very much. I had that happen the other day, I thought of a haiku, but by the time I had the pen in my hand it was gone. And it seemed to flow so easily when I said it outloud the first time.
ReplyDeleteBut you did come up with a haiku, and the poem is awesome!
This is SO very creative!
ReplyDeleteI love this! and all of your others, Karen!
enjoy your day~
~Calli
I love the rhythm here, it really takes on a life of its own. Nice work.
ReplyDeleteKaren, I can just see you driving along the highway composing this magnificent little masterpiece in your mind. I truly LOVE it. It's just plain fun. I used to get my best ideas for poems while driving to work so I'd keep a notebook nearby and jot down a word or two at stop signs and red lights. Thank you for sharing your genius with us! Love & Blessings!!
ReplyDeleteWow--this is very good; I always like this sort of incremental pattern, & you've done it very well. This is one of my favorites for sure.
ReplyDeletethis is great Karen~ i so hate when i'm driving along and lose the verse i was scripting in my mind. sometimes i get lucky enough to write them down in a small notebook. other times they are lost just like in your poem. have a great day.
ReplyDeleteYou could put up "LOST" signs on telephone poles. Maybe someone cleaning up the road will spot it? :)
ReplyDeleteVery cleverly done... I love the repetition and notion to begin with. Reading through your journal and having a wonderful time so far; would you mind if I added you to my blogslist?
this is very entertaining, I've lost many haiku and I tried to write a poem about losing one once but i lost that too!
ReplyDeleteDave - Glad to have given you a smile this day.
ReplyDeleteCat - That's exactly what happens to me all too frequently!
Calli - Thanks, dear!
JM - Thank you, and thanks for coming by.
Marion - I have my little notebook in the door pocket, and I've tried recording a few words on my Blackberry, and I've tried writing on napkins, receipts, you name it! I still lose these poems! When I find the scraps, they mean nothing anymore. Glad you liked this one. Thanks.
John - I actually got some of the idea for playing with the form from your recent "Sestina", not the same, of course, but I owe you for this one.
Michelle - Don't you hate when that happens? Me, too!
namingconstellations, Joseph - I love it! Can't you just see the description on the poster? Thanks, and please do feel free to add me. I loved your Basho, so I'll return the favor.
Juliet - Thanks for stopping by and leaving comments here. I'd like to catch some of those errant poems! Have a net?
i also hate when that happens. i'd love to pry open that repository and get to all those bits i've forgotten.
ReplyDeletelike dave said, this is amusing and ingenious - how you play with the form and language - and in very sharp-witted way, show how easy it for us to over-complicate what is (or should be) very simple - as the search grows more desperate, the feelings grow more frantic, until the clarity that allowed it to happen is as lost as the thing that happened.
i catch myself doing that all the time, so i hope i'm not projecting - but that's what i love about this one.
Hi, Karen! I love the playfulness of this poem, but I also love the wonderful images. It's awesome how you start out with a haiku, but the rest of the stanzas have that haiku "feel" to them with all of those wonderful images. The natural descriptions are excellent (the crows, hanging leaves, sunrise, etc. etc.). And to use a "clutch" of crows with this poem is brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI also love how you weave the natural images with the ones made by humans, like power lines and the car. The parking lot swallowing the car is awesome. Well, shoot...I've just about named all of them, because they're all so vivid.
As for the theme, oh boy, can I relate to that. Sometimes I worry what people are going to "find" in my office after I die. Crazy ramblings and bits of insanity...ha! ha!
Another beautiful piece. Thanks for making me smile yet again.
The more I read this Karen - the more I like it.
ReplyDeleteI love the playfulness and the way you involved everything in sight. Hoping at least one of them could recite your haiku back to you.
I'll be thinking of this while driving to work this morning. I'll even be looking out for your haiku - I'll let you know if I find it! :D
I think it ran. Made a dash for it. It just refused to be pinned down. ;)
ReplyDeleteI liked this exploration of structure.
Unlucky for us that it got away. :(
ReplyDeleteI kinda wish I was that Haiku though... would take any chance of running away that I can, at the moment. Have these darn client calls at 9 PM in the office. That means I am supposed to have 13hr shifts starting today. 13 HRS! Go Figure!
Karen, this is brilliant! I love all of it, its sound, its rhythm, its irony, the way I can fully relate to it…
ReplyDeleteJoaquin - You aren't projecting at all! I don't know if you remember my poem "House of the Poet", but that's exactly what it's about - the desparate search for one perfect "specimen". This one is much more carefree, but I think it just depends on the day and time!
ReplyDeleteJulie - I really appreciate the specific comments. So often, actually most often, when I read something I like, I just want to say, "Wow!" (Not very helpful to the poet, but honest!) Anyway, I know that it takes time and effort to compose a more specific commentary on imagery, form, etc., and I do so want to thank you for that. I know what you mean about people cleaning out your desk. My fear is what they'll find in my purse!
Margaret - I'm glad to give you a smile and something to search for on your way to work! Thank you.
Jason - Keep an eye out for it! Thanks.
Ani - Sorry about the hard day at work. I'd trade you mine today! :-( Let's chase poetry!
Vesper - I think all of us who chase words know how elusive they can be. What a quest!
Love the jauntiness of this - very Emily Dickinson. Great technique...repetive words, lines. Great subject, too. Who among us hasn't "lost" a poem out the window of our car?
ReplyDeleteI try to write at red lights, to no avail!
I said it to myself and to the air
And to a clutch of crows
Astretch the power lines,
Great work, as always, Karen!
Not a villanelle, not a sestina, but some kind of hybrid haiku play on them. Devilishly clever. Does it have a name?
ReplyDeleteReally well writen post, I liked it a lot, very creative haiky/poem or poem with haiku. Very full of thoughts and images also. I am glad I have discovered your blog.
ReplyDeleteI am into linguistics, so I study language a lot, which does not imply that I am a good writter, but I hope that with practice at least I would get to be a descent one.
if you want to check what I do you can takea a look at:http://singyourownlullaby.blogspot.com/2009/06/origins-lf-language.html
Best Regards
M
Really well writen post, I liked it a lot, very creative haiky/poem or poem with haiku. Very full of thoughts and images also. I am glad I have discovered your blog.
ReplyDeleteI am into linguistics, so I study language a lot, which does not imply that I am a good writter, but I hope that with practice at least I would get to be a descent one.
if you want to check what I do you can takea a look at:http://singyourownlullaby.blogspot.com/2009/06/origins-lf-language.html
Best Regards
M
Delight for sure! I felt the momentum of your travels and your search, assuming the presence of a busy bee in pursuit and flight, yet calm in its deliberation and acceptance. Ah to create, have it slip through our recall, and to recreate in response - so very well expressed here. Yes, Karen, well done.
ReplyDeleteKaye - Thanks! Any mention of Emily and me makes me happier than I can say!
ReplyDeleteMairi - No, not any known form! John had posted a wonderful sestina at Robert Frost's Banjo, which made me think about form. The rest of the story - losing the haiku - is just the truth.
Mariana - Welcome! I love linguists, but I'll have to say that my linguistic courses were some of the most difficult I took. Maybe that was the subject; maybe it was the teacher. Nevertheless, like you, I like to practice my writing, and I hope some day to be a decent writer. I will definitely visit your site to explore language with you. Thanks for visiting.
Rose Marie - The acceptance is the hard part! None of us wants to lose our words, do we? It's happening too often lately. My husband suggests a voice recorder, but by the time I fiddle with it, I've lost the line, so it's to no avail. Thanks for your ever-welcome comments.
Neat poem! Sometimes I get inspiration and I tell myself to run home when I have the chance to type it, but instead it gets lost in the wind somewhere. I try to catch the inspiration again and again, but it can't be found. This poem captures that essence well. Thanks for sharing =)
ReplyDeleteI know I've commented already, but I've just been back for another read. I still think it's brilliant.
ReplyDeleteQuackster - Thank you! It seems we all share this experience. I'm glad you found yourself in this one.
ReplyDeleteDave - Thank you so much.
I feel like you were in my mind that day. Scary how familiar these thoughts and lines felt to me. The repetitions and slight additions as the mind multitasks, driving a car, noticing what is, and creating something that could be.
ReplyDeleteAnd, about losing a thought-- errrghhh... I just hate it when that happens! I've always wanted a button on the side on my head that I could push to get a printout whenever and wherever. Hmph!
You've neatly earned all these interesting comments for your poem to the lost haiku. Wish I could add something profound,but the night meds are kicking in and I have promises to keep...
ReplyDeleteLove,
Chris A