(Random, Capricious)
I like to think I'd save him
If I could start again,
But there he was,
All fat body
And stringlike legs,
Scrambling up the tub,
Frantic to escape.
And there was a moment
When I could have stopped it all.
Turn the knob and gently scoop him up.
Instead, I cupped my hands,
Like that.
And poured as a libation,
So he became a heap of swirling legs.
So small. So small.
So meaningless to me.
Is God, I sometimes wonder,
In spite of all that I believe,
Like that?
Pouring down on those of us scrambling for purchase,
Unlucky enough to find ourselves
In the (random) wrong place
At exactly the (capricious) wrong time?
This is a profound question with no solid answer. You have captured it well with the image of a spider and water. It seems more random than organized, and more capricious than planned. Lovely poem.
ReplyDeleteI've been arguing this for years, day after day. At times....but at other times...i can find no pattern to strengthen what i believe, yet i can't help but believe. Is this faith or desperation? Not even sure what i'd rather. You ask hard questions that are even harder to ignore.
ReplyDeleteRick
OK, you've gotten inside my head when I'm in the shower. We have a window in our shower so we often have "critters" in there - and I always debate about what to do with them. Mike rescues them - I usually drown them (although sometimes not on purpose).
ReplyDeleteI also have the same God debate - and I haven't come down firmly on one side or the other.
I have wondered this myself........we so often find ourselves scrambling for purchase, just like the spider. To the spider, we must seem like the gods:)
ReplyDeleteI doubt that your spider gives us a second thought or consideration, unless it's to move out of the shadow of our foot, and perhaps that's much like our relationship with God -- we carry on with our daily to and fro, and try our best not to fall under the shadow of God's foot.
ReplyDeleteA difficult and thought provoking question ~ Its all relative in size and weight but I would like to think God measures and weighs us in different ways...ways we can't even comprehend ~
ReplyDeleteThis gets on our senses! We often ask questions that we do not expect answers. The power of God somehow helps soften the impact. Nicely Karen!
ReplyDeleteHank
Love your opening, that drew me in. And those questions, "in spite of what I believe"... I can so relate. I do choose to believe God sees us as His children, small perhaps, but not meaningless to Him. Great write.
ReplyDeleteHi, this is very deep and I like the images and questions it inspires.
ReplyDelete