My valentine is shirtless
In the basement,
Electric guitar slung
From his narrow shoulder,
His jeans riding low on his hips.
He’s Paul McCartney,
And much as I ask,
He won’t let me be Linda.
No, today, I’m some ex-Beatle,
Who was in
Thought to be the sweetest
And most beautiful
Boy in the band.
Yoko in her crib kicks
In time to the music
And sucks her fist with glee.
Just happy to be
Even an extra player
Back in the U.S.S.R,
I grab my microphone
And sing along.
This made me cry. I love it!
ReplyDeleteThis is so fresh! I particularly love the image of Yoko.
ReplyDeleteAlso these three lines;
"Thought to be the sweetest
And most beautiful
Boy in the band."
I was contemplating writing on Robert Plant, whom I idolised for 15 years, but it was just lust, and withered and died as Robert himself... withered. Now he looks like Noddy Holder should do, and vice versa. Which is utterly bizarre.
Really enjoyed this unexpected Valentine.
How fun! A lot of young women really thought Paul was quite the heart throb! & a lot of folks have sung along with the Beatles into hairbrushes & who knows what!
ReplyDeleteI was a Ringo girl. I still have a thing for drummers. LOL! Great poem, Karen!! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteI still have musical heart throbs, and some are over 60!
ReplyDeleteI am reading Musicophelia by Oliver Sachs, how the brain responds to music.
If only our valentine wanna-bes knew!
I don't use a hairbrush. Just sing it right out.
ReplyDeleteLoved the poem!
Well, he was definitely the most beautiful boy in the band. (In my eyes!)
ReplyDeleteLovely Poem Karin!
Enjoyed this, Karin. The Yoko image, the hairbrush (I had a light bulb!)...captures loads and sets the heart a-pumping that bit faster! Brava!
ReplyDeletethis one made me smile, with its sweet and sometimes, unexpected images :))
ReplyDeleteThis is great on first read - conjures up all those memories of teenage obsession. Then read it again and there's even more going on beneath the surface. Loads of layers -I want to know more.
ReplyDeleteKaren, this has everything. I love, love, love it! :-)
ReplyDeleteGreat poem!
ReplyDeleteSweet nostalgic poem...Enjoyed it.All seems like 'yesterday'.
ReplyDeletethis was great...thanks!
ReplyDeleteParticularly enjoyed the first verse. I've tried to write about Bruce Springsteen, the way be struts but I can't get it right (yet)
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written and it brought a smile to my to my day.
ReplyDeleteKaren- I wonder where you get your ideas from. Who else is in your basement? nice write. ~rick
ReplyDeleteOh yes! You sing and those four will be backup. :)
ReplyDeletehahaaaha...God, I love this! yeah, yeah yeah...
ReplyDeleteIn the ninth grade we had a contest of who looked like which Beatle. I was voted, Paul!
loving this!
ReplyDeleteshoulda been a rock star.
*sigh*
wait - what happened to the hairbrush?
ReplyDeleteo.O
Lauren - With the way you love those particular musicians, I'm not surprised! I'm glad you like it. We'll have to go back to that basesment together. :-)
ReplyDeleteTitus - You made me laugh out loud with your Noddy Holder comment!
John - Yes, but for some lucky folks (wink, wink) the hairbrush turned into the real thing!
Marion - Ringo would do in a pinch, but Paul...something altogether different!
Dianne - Is there anything in that book that tells how to get bad lyrics out of your brain? ;-)
Chris - Sorry about that hairbrush! I revised and brushed it right out! That was my mic of choice, though.
Margaret - No question about it. Mine, too!
Liz - Glad you noticed Yoko over there! Thanks!
SzelsoFa - Thanks, and sorry about the hairbrush! I constantly revise, and that was bothering me for some reason. I actually thought it made things a little too obvious, so it's gone! Now every reader can supply whatever object was their own mic!
PureFiction - I'm smiling at your comment. There really is more to this story! Keeping secrets, you know! :-)
Vesper - Thank you! :-D
Usicebot - Thanks!
rallentanda - Ha, ha, ha!!
Char - Thanks!
Emerging Writer - The Boss would be hard to capture, I think. The excitement of the crowd might be easier.
Robert - Glad you liked it!
Rick - All sorts of unexpected things can be found in basements and attics. Great repositories for so much!
Jason - Oh, if only!
K - Remember Beatle wigs? He, he!
joaquin - Well, you do rock!
SzelsoFa - Fell to revision! Oops.
Who doesn't love the Beatles? This was such a great valentine post. You love to inject a slice of history in all your pieces don't you? :)
ReplyDeleteNow, I must scoot to listen 'Love me do'
i see and accept the revision (and the removal of hairbrush).
ReplyDeleteinteresting though, that now it feels more obvious. for me, with hairbrush it was kind of funny and open to other potential home-made microphones. i for example, used to use a pen, or just my fist. now i sing just out without any object, virtual or actual, in my hands.
without the word 'hairbrush' the poem's gotten more serious somehow. as the options are more restricted. somehow, the lack of mentioning one particular kind of microphone narrowed the possibilities. but it's maybe just me.
i read it again (like for the third time) - and i do like the new version as well. :))
hope you don't mind my two cents...
Aniket - I thought just "Yesterday", where's Aniket when you need him? I needed for you to read this! I knew you'd like it! :-D
ReplyDeleteSzelsoFa - I really appreciate your comments on the disappearing hairbrush. (For those who don't know, I had as the next to last line, a hairbrush mic.) I understand what you mean about limiting the piece, but I felt that by using the hairbrush, I was making it into parody in a way. Hearing what you have to say about this is good for me. I don't have a writer's group (other than this one) with whom to discuss my work. I'll keep your comments in mind for the final, final version. Thank you. You ARE appreciated!
I love it , Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!
ReplyDeleteKaren...Though I never thought McCartney the cutest boy in the world, you almost got me there with this piece.
ReplyDeleteLove you
R. Raccoon.
Oh, Paul...but John, too. And, if I think about it, "Here Comes the Sun" is one of my favorites, so I can't forget George...
ReplyDeleteThe Beatles are timeless. I love that I can dance with my kids to their music, and have them completely get it. And maybe, as a result, we all feel ageless when we hear them. Paul will always be young and beautiful. Here, there, and everywhere. :)
This was a fun, sweet valentine that got my toes tapping. I feel like you're letting yourself stretch into some different places lately, Karen, and I really love it.
Hi, Karen! When I read the first two lines, I thought...woah...here comes a steamy scene. You got me good! Haha! And I love being "got," because I love this poem! The playfulness...the rhythm...and the fun of reading it made my day. The Yoko stanza just sizzles and pops. Fantastic!
ReplyDeleteI didn't see the hairbrush version, but I do love the sound of the word microphone and the way it echoes with "along." I also love how the voice in the poem has the feel of a teenage voice, especially in lines like "He won't let me be Linda." Awesome poem, my friend!
Like reading a teenagers diary: sweet and
ReplyDeletelonging.
Paul may have been the cute one, and John the arrogant one, but I would've hung out with George. So quiet and so poorly respected!
ReplyDeleteTFE - Glad you approve! Thanks for the nudge!
ReplyDeleteTWM - Thanks, Mark, but I think you're more the ZZ Top type, aren't ya? :-)
Sarah - I think it's hard to pick just one of them, too. Their music was really revolutionary, and I'm glad to see a new generation enjoying it. I just hope they don't figure out what some of those lyrics actually mean! ;-)
Julie - This was fun to write! Thanks for your comments on the voice and the details. Can't you see Yoko over there? Ha, ha! Thanks, too, for the comment on the microphone.
Marie - Thanks!
joseph - ...but my sister already had George, and she was bigger than me!
Nothing like the Beatles...
ReplyDeleteRinging the Bell for Barry today: http://bit.ly/awIPJm
Clang, Clang!
--Terrace Crawford
www.terracecrawford.com
www.twitter.com/terracecrawford
Terrace - God bless Barry and your mother, too!
ReplyDeleteO yea?! :)
ReplyDeleteGo on!