I’m painting
In the bathroom again,
Applying a clean
Thin skin to cover
Drops of dye and scratches
Where my tools, hanging
By their looped brown cords
Make arcs like pencil marks
Against the beaded board.
I’m choosing
High gloss this time;
It’s what I should
Have used before -
A shine that covers
Flaws with ease,
Fills cracks, snow white
And guaranteed with just
One coat to cloak my
Sins and more.
this made me smile.
ReplyDeletei can relate.
i like the quick to the point pace of this.
"one coat to cloak" is a fine mouthful.
"I’m choosing
ReplyDeleteHigh gloss this time;
It’s what I should
Have used before -
A shine that covers
Flaws with ease,
Fills cracks, snow white
And guaranteed with just
One coat to cloak my
Sins and more."
Wonderful, Karen! Are you painting your face, or the walls of your bathroom? I like the ambiguity. This feels like one of those lovely poems that erupt with ease and fluidity, pouring onto the paper in a few swoop.
I'd choose a flat latex, my sins wash off easy enough as do yours Karen when we are willing to let them go.
ReplyDeleteI too love the easy flow of this, the tools and metaphors of them, they lay against the wall near strangled by their cords but still function.
Paint well and remember to leave a window open for ventilation. {;-)}
'Arcs like pencil marks
ReplyDeleteagainst the beaded board' - love those lines.
This has a lovely effortless flow to it. Really nice.
Interesting images, Karen. I too liked the cords and arcs.
ReplyDeleteI am enamored of this perfect poem. If I were teaching a class in contemporary poetry, this would be included among the verses of Billy Collins, Ted Kooser, Maxine Kumin, Tess Gallagher - etc.
ReplyDeletePerfect form - compact verse, every word carrying its weight. Clear, sharp language - the power of description throughout is amazing:
Where my tools, hanging
By their looped brown cords
Make arcs like pencil marks
Against the beaded board.
You have taken what should and could have been a prosaic experience and turned it into an introspective examination of thoughts and motives!
Bravo, you!
Karen- love your telling but don't hide all the sins. Let a little hang out here and there. ~rick
ReplyDelete"one coat to cloak my sins" - simple and deep.
ReplyDeleteHmm, makes me wonder at a darker side, but not yours! You are not dark, that we see!
ReplyDeleteDianne
Beautifully precise--love the "arcs like pencil marks," & as others have said the last line really works wonderfully.
ReplyDeleteJack - Thank you! I'm glad to bring a smile to your face.
ReplyDeleteChris - I'm glad you asked! That is the question!
TWM - Thanks for your comments, Mark, and for recognizing the importance of the cords.
Pure Fiction - Thank you! I love the sound of poetry as much as the sense, so I appreciate your comment on the lines.
Gordon - Thank you!
K - I am overwhelmed by your remarks! I don't know what to say, except thank you for both the great compliment and the specific comments on form. I so appreciate your support!
Rick - :-)
Leigh - Thank you!
Dianne - Can't see through the paint! He, he!
John - Thank you!
wow - um, what k said - so much painting happens in the bathroom - and it seems like a cycle, having to freshen up becuase of the "tools" one needs to freshen up. and i love the end - i see it as kind of dorian gray-ish - it crept up on me in all the fun for a great twist.
ReplyDeleteHi Karen. Thanks for your message. I'm a bit overwhelmed lately but hope things will improve in a few weeks. Meanwhile you've been posting some beautiful work. I particularly like the internal rhyme in this one, and the play with meaning, reinforced as it is by the image.
ReplyDeleteas Enchanted Oak said, there's a fine blur here as to what exactly you are covering/painting/preparing for some great occassion. i liked the steps of arrangement and the hope that everything's shining and fine.
ReplyDeletei hope it's not some thin concealment, but a true layer fo fresh paint, - although, to contradict myself, sometimes we need those quick thin layers to cover a crack or a flaw to move on, so that we can come back later and clean the mess.
Hi Karen, thank you for the return visit. Come back any time. I hope you enjoy CUT SHORT - it's in stock on amazon.com again after they sold out last month in just one week. Please email me if you'd like a scanned signature.
ReplyDeleteI loveyour description.
ReplyDeleteIt seems so realso I wanted to know if you are a painter
Wonderful this notion of covering your sins under a coat of paint in your bathroom. The ordinary turned into the sublime.
ReplyDeleteYes, this is a superb piece of writing. Absolutely loved it, the conciseness and the ambiguity of the imagery. Bravo indeed!
ReplyDeleteKaren, your poem has such a wonderful flow to it. It reads with such ease.
ReplyDeleteSo, this is one way to try to cover our sins! :)
Beautiful piece of work.
I like the acceptance of the "painting" in the poem. I think we all have that urge. To look (be) as beautiful as we can.
ReplyDeleteI like the acceptance of the "painting" in the poem. I think we all have that urge. To look (be) as beautiful as we can.
ReplyDeleteThere's a song hiding under the rhythm of the lines here... I'm trying to figure out the melody. I'll probably keep staring at it until I figure it out, because it's just that captivating. :)
ReplyDeletejoaquin - Thank you! I'm glad to be able to surprise you a little! :-)
ReplyDeletemairi - Thanks for taking time from your busy schedule to stop by and comment. I hope the pressure lets up soon.
SzelsoFa - I like that you contradicted yourself! That tells me that the poem made you think, and if a poem doesn't make you either think or feel, it's of no worth! Thanks for your comment.
Leigh - Thanks!
Maha - Thanks for stopping by. A painter? Yes. Artist? I wish!
Elizabeth - Thank you for your comment!
Titus - Thank you! :-)
Margaret - Thanks!
Jason - Double thanks! Tee, hee!
Joseph - I wish you hadn't said that, because I've gone back and read it with exaggerated rhythm and I found that tune! I'm not going to say it here, though, for anybody else who reads this won't be able to read it any other way! I remember once someone told me that every Emily Dickinson poem could be put to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas." It was years before I could stop doing that!
I'm afraid I'll need a few gallons of heavy gloss latex Glidden paint to cover my sins...haha! Wonderful poem, Karen! I love it so much. But now I'm going crazy trying to figure out what song you're talking about in the comment above. The one that comes to my mind is a silly song and only fits the first four lines. That would be a fun contest, wouldn't it? "Name that tune in a poem." I'll keep reading it to see if I can figure it out.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many things I love about this poem. In line two, "again" is great. I really dig when one word spells out an entire story of a life. And I love that the narrator is applying a "thin skin." In the ending, I love the "guarantee." You're awesome, sister Karen!
Stunning poem, tied perfectly to its painting. What I loved most, Karen, is that it holds two layers for me--"paint" as decoration, designed to attract, and as a wall, applied to conceal. The latter is what stuck with me. How we make ourselves inauthentic, in a way, to serve as our own protection.
ReplyDeleteYet the winking, irreverent voice--"I'm choosing high gloss this time;"--makes it work as a performance! And how. I was charmed, and seduced, by this poem. It made me smile, and feel a pull. Pure perfection, my painterly friend. :)
A shine that covers
ReplyDeleteFlaws with ease,
Fills cracks, snow white
And guaranteed with just
One coat to cloak my
Sins and more.
I love this poem, Karen, and the whiff of mischief that comes to me from the paint... :-)More than glossy, brilliant!
You elevate painting to a joy, rather than a chore.
ReplyDeleteGeisha? or battered wife? anyhow, awesome!!!:)
ReplyDeleteGood day!!!:)
>kelvin
Re: Emily Dickinson -- I always heard "Oh Susanna" or the Oscar Mayer theme song.
ReplyDeleteBecause I could not stop for Death
he kindly stopped for me--
My Bologna has a second Name
It's M-A-Y-E-R.
Funny, I was just noticing all the drops of dye on my bathroom wall!
ReplyDeleteLovely words. They flow beautifully.
ReplyDelete*buss*
ReplyDeleteJulie - Sorry it's taken so long to get back here. Life interferes! :-) Thanks for noticing the importance of one word. It can make all the difference, can't it? I think that's why I prefer writing poetry to prose - the weight of every word makes the writing seem more urgent in some way, more important. That probably isn't what I'm trying to convey, but you see, unless I put it in poetry - some metaphor to indicate what I mean - I just can't say it! Oh, I do go on! We'd be a pair if we ever got together!
ReplyDeleteSarah - Thanks for your perceptive comments on the two sides of the paint and on the tone, as well. You have gone right into the heart of the whole thing.
Vesper - I should have thought to include the scent(smell of the greasepaint? low odor?). Ah, I'll save that for the revisions. Thanks, dear!
Robert - Coming from a visual artist like you, that's a great compliment. Thanks! ;-)
Kelvin - Now you've added another layer to this paint! Battered wife? I hadn't even considered that it could be read that way, but I see that it surely could. Thanks for pointing out that interpretation.
Joseph - I wish you wouldn't do that!! Now, I'll be singing THAT tune! :-)
willow - I almost hate to admit it; don't you?
anthonynorth - Thank you! I'm glad you stopped by to read and comment.
Mark - Mwah - right back atcha!
Karen, I think the poem is great the way it is. But you have an interesting idea... smells, yes... feelings could have smells, deeds also. Something to think about. :-)
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'll say the same thing I said to Joaquin. This is of such class one would gladly pay for to read. So when are you publishing your set of poems. You can opt for self publishing like him too. :)
ReplyDeletePure Fiction picked up my fav. lines. I got to admit, I love it more when you deviate from nature poetry to contemporary ones. Love the playful choice of words. :P
Vesper - Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAniket - You have me beaming! I seem to be moving away from nature poetry this winter - probably because as much as I love nature, I'm bearing a grudge right now! ;-)
Wonderful poetry! I would swim in high gloss paint if I thought it could cloak my sins.
ReplyDeleteCarmen - Thanks! Me, too!
ReplyDeleteGreat poem, thoughtfully wrought. I think my walls might need 2 coats, though...
ReplyDelete