SCATTERING
I wonder
If you noticed
As you left
The way the light
Behind you
Gathered on the plains
And how the blues
Distilled from noonday skies
Became a darkened canvas
Of the day and how the dot of sun
Would pull our eyes
Away from that one spot
Where you had been
To somewhere in a distance
Past the clouds
To places you might wander
Through again.
I wonder if you took
The time at all
To have a look behind
To fix the spot
Where time and space
All scattered have become
A picture of the place
Where you are not.
Your leaving is a telling
Beyond words, an empty seat,
A setting, distant sun,
A barren tree,
A scattering of birds,
The painting of a sorrow
Just begun.
Karen,
ReplyDeleteVery fine, very fine work. Your leaving is a telling beyond words...
Where time and space all scattered have become a picture of the place where you are not.
I love the short lines, and more powerful for it.
Dianne
Oh, Karen, this is heartbreaking. And so achingly beautiful in how you framed it--with the poignant questioning that expects no answer, but still persists in the asking. And the remnants of a world bled barren and dry without the loved one. I think, in such moments, our pain saturates our vision and our hearts. Unbearably so.
ReplyDeleteAs always--but maybe here, in particular--your work pulls me effortlessly from line to line. Here, it felt like you pulled me across the plains themselves. And I felt that distance keenly, between having and loss.
A truly great poem, Karen.
Wonderful poem Karen....Each that you are doing now is better than the last and all are so fine. I love the line
ReplyDeleteWhere time and space all scattered have become a picture of the place where you are not.
Linda
this is so so sad...
ReplyDeleteThank you Karen for this beautiful poem.
ReplyDeleteYour lines express exactly what's in my heart.
His leaving is, as you say.. 'A telling beyond words, an empty seat'.
Nice! I'm just thinking "how cool" I love the emotion that you bring to this painting. I think "scattering" is a wonderful twist.
ReplyDeleteThere is a reason for never looking back after having left a place and there is a reason for the poetry and you have found it Karen.
ReplyDeleteThe beautiful things freeze and become a weight. Powerful verse. I get the sense that there wasn't much looking back.
ReplyDeleteHi Karen,
ReplyDeleteThis is simply beautiful!
Beautifully done. I particularly like this part:
ReplyDeleteTo fix the spot
Where time and space
All scattered have become
A picture of the place
Where you are not.
Yes in spades!
ReplyDeleteIt was the rhythm of the piece that absolutely captured me.
A well crafted poem. I want to quote the whole thing as having great lines.
ReplyDeleteI really loved this. It stands as one fantastic whole.
ReplyDeleteEveryone - Thank you for your kind words. I wanted to write a poem based on thoughts that the picture evoked, and then I learned that our friend Margaret had lost her father. That gave me the direction for this poem. I know that we have all lost someone we love, so I believe we all have stories beyond words.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your words and hope to respond to everyone individually soon.
Always the questions and never the answers. I love the style with which you've written this slice of life/death. Touching.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful piece!
ReplyDeletePamela
The rhythm of your piece got me all choked up too.-Irene
ReplyDeleteI'm having a hard time thinking of the right words to describe how much this poem touched me. I don't even think I can. I love it.
ReplyDeleteThe canvas metaphor is so beautiful. That one dot...left behind. The spot "where you had been" brings tears to my eyes.
And the last seven lines...oh! It's all wonderful, but that strong ending really touched me, especially the scattering of birds. I think of all the people I love who are gone, and those images capture that feeling perfectly.
such a beautifully written and moving piece. i especially love the last eight lines as they pull at my heartstrings. it's something one can relate to as everyone has lost someone in their lifetime. take care and have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteYou've really captured the photo well. I had a tough time putting my finger on just what emotions were being created, but there's a communication with emptiness going on here that I adore. Excellent!
ReplyDeleteA good poem of loss and sorrow visualized in the scattering.
ReplyDeletenodding my head to all that - i think the title is perfect - and i love how you often use subtle bits of rhyme to make your poems lyical, but not overtly musical. this feels like an outstretched hand towards someone you love.
ReplyDeleteTo everyone: Thank you again. I am on the road this week, so I'm unable to respond as I usually would. I do appreciate your comments. Right now, I have just learned of a mining accident in my home state of West Virginia, so my heart and mind are with the families who have lost their loved ones and those whose loved ones are still missing. This is, indeed, a telling beyond words. Only prayers will do.
ReplyDeleteI really do like this. I love how you interpreted the picture, and I especially like this line: "The painting of a sorrow". Which is what your poem actually is.
ReplyDelete-Nicole
You brought back a memory of my life.
ReplyDelete