The bus is up and running again, and I made it home just in time to jump aboard!
This week it's being ably driven by the lovely poet Teressa Wellborn of The Chocolate Chip Waffle. Visit Teressa for links to other Poetry Bus poems on this week's Keith Carter photo prompt. Here's mine.
Dance, little girl,
Dance, litle girl,
Whirl and twirl
Faster and faster
Until you master
The music as it flows.
Dance, little girl,
Dance, little girl,
Whirl and twirl
Tighten and tighten
Until you lighten
The chords inside your soul.
Dance, little girl,
Dance, little girl,
How quickly shifts the light;
How sudden comes the night;
How color goes to gray;
How darkness ends the day.
Dance, little girl.
Dance, little girl.
Dance yourself away.
Brilliant, particularly like the ending.
ReplyDeleteA great idea and a fine poem.
ReplyDeleteFor me
Tighten and tighten
Until you lighten
The chords inside your mind.
is the core of the poem.
I like the twirling repetion.
ReplyDeleteAnd I also like your (new) subtitle to your blog. I don't recall seeing that before. But I may have just missed it.
"The chords inside your mind" really stood out for me. The fluffiness of the dance thread belies the intensity of this. I really like it - I can hear it being sung in an old-time schoolyard.
ReplyDeleteLove this lyrical entry. It reads like a song.
ReplyDeleteAgree with Terresa and Kat. Its a lovely lyrical piece that probably has an air already???
ReplyDeleteyes, I like the tighten and the last line too. Thanks
ReplyDeleteWow! That's all, just Wow!
ReplyDeleteReally liked this, for all the above reasons, and for me there's a dark edge to this as well that really sings of the image and those strange metallic wall-hanging things. In fact, I just thought of the word "incantation", and that's what it reminds me of - some dark magic here.
ReplyDeletethis is great. i imagine a little girl practicing and practicing her steps until nightfall. and then... the repetition starts allover again the next day. nicely done. have a great night.
ReplyDeleteNiamh - Thank you! I've changed it a bit since posting it, so hope it still suits.
ReplyDeleteDave - Thanks. I did change "mind" to "soul" for a couple of reasons. I hope it works even better.
jason - Thanks. The subheading has always been there, but I think the new color scheme allows it to be seen now.
Kat - After reading your comment about the schoolyard, I went back and made it even more so. Thanks for the idea.
Teressa - Thanks for the inspiring prompt.
Peter - No tune in mind, but now I'm thinking!
EW - Thanks!
Argent - Thank you! I love "Wow"!
Titus - I see the darkness in this too. (Surprise, surprise!) I didn't even focus on the objects on the wall - just the strangeness of it all.
Naquillity - Spinning and spinning. The night falls within and without. Thanks!
I love the voice of the speaker, who strikes me as not terribly nice, but very wise and wounded. And I loved Titus' word: incantation. This certainly suits as one. It should be sung at twilight.
ReplyDeleteOh
ReplyDelete"Whirl and twirl
Tighten and tighten
Until you lighten
The chords inside your soul.
Dance yourself away
These are my favourite lines and the ending both sad and yet uplifting as the the little girl twirls into the atmosphere and is gone...
Amazing, beautiful, very touching. Thank you
there's so much energy in this poem and love the end also.. short sharp and gently violent.. cool!
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff Karen, loved 'the chords inside your soul'
ReplyDeleteQuick and nimble it fairly danced down the page.
This is so charming. I love that it is lyrical.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry I have not visited in such a long time. Been so busy but do know I have missed you my friend. Your writing has opened up so much over the past year. I love reading you.
Be well~
~Calli
Chris - You've read this voice just the way I intended it.
ReplyDeleteGwei Mui - Welcome, and thank you for your nice comments.
watercats - I can do gently violent! ;-)
TFE - Glad you liked it. Care to dance?
Calli - Hello, dear! It has been a long time! I assume you've been busy with your painting. I'm ashamed to say I haven't been around to your place, either. I will remedy that soon. Thanks for the comment about my opening up. I think I've thrown off some inhibitions and decided to just be me. Soooo glad to see you!
Karen-I found it really sad. I remember when my daughter was very young and we put her in ballet and the look of torture on her face not understanding why we were doing this to her. I think many women wear themselves out dancing for the stars.
ReplyDelete~rick
Karen!! I saw your comment at Sarah's. :)
ReplyDeleteSorry for being SO HORRIBLE about commenting--I still read everyone in the reader when I can, but your poems always deserve an intelligent and thoughtful response and I don't trust myself to be up to the task most days!
How are you? Has summer officially begun yet??
I was sure we'd all have met at Aniket's wedding by now, but he doesn't seem to be cooperating. ;)
I like the feel of this poem washing over me as I read, and I took away something perhaps not intended--it reminded me of my younger law school days when I was working so hard at everything, trying to conquer exams and interviews and figure out who I was after calling off an engagement, and I felt like the girl in this poem, with everyone telling me to dance and I just wanted to stop, and sit for a moment, and maybe even breathe.
Hope you are well!
I like this...for some reason it makes me think it should be a children's rhyme for blowing the seeds off dandelions or something.
ReplyDeletex
Rick - Both my girls took ballet lessons. What a hoot, when I think about it now -- bunches of little girls in tutus and skinny or chubby legs tripping over one another, mostly just moving aimlessly. Why do we do that to little girls? How bewildering for them. Dancing for what? Stars that don't exist, mostly. Shoot. Now, I'm depressed. Thanks, Rick! Ha, ha!
ReplyDeleteJennifer - I hope I didn't guilt you into coming here! I am just so very happy to see you and know you're okay! Even if I did guilt you, of course, you have honed in on exactly the feeling that inspired this piece. The voice in this is the voice inside the dancer's head. Her incantation is her own as she winds tighter and tighter, trying to lighten but really just spinning herself away.
I'm happy to see you're still writing and I hope you and your family are well. Maybe we will meet at Ani's wedding, if we can ever get him to settle down long enough!
Someone told me it's nearly summer, but I can't get my head out of my own whirlwind long enough to notice! I'm making myself a promise to slow down a bit. Soon. Right! ;-)
I do miss you, but I'm glad to know you're still somewhere out there!
Rachel - Several people have remarked that it sounds like a schoolyard song. I'm beginning to see little girls jumping rope to it. Just so they aren't dancing themselves silly!
This is a poem - like a song - that grows on you, the more often you recite it.
ReplyDeleteIt has such a wonderful flow to it - just twirling round and round.
Makes me think of living every day to the fullest as tomorrow comes sooner than we think. And life is just so short, we have to enjoy each moment of every day.
Good one. You captured a possible sense of movement in the pic I for one hadn't thought of.
ReplyDeleteMargaret - You are so right about the living. I wish I had learned it sooner.
ReplyDeleteDominic - Thanks!
"You are so right about the living. I wish I had learned it sooner." --- You may be a granny but you're not THAT old. :)
ReplyDeleteFor all I have gathered though your wall of secrets, you do live a full life.
And this piece does set in like a song and resonates when you sing it. Loved the voice of it.
i love this.
ReplyDeletei love the weaving of tension and abandon, the movement of the girl, and the quiet joy of the narrator, urging her on. i can almost see the eyes sparkle with the reflection.
love it, love it.