When I left, you were face down in the pillow
Gone somewhere on your own,
So I stood a while in the doorway,
My hand raised in blessing and goodbye.
I thought how this could be the last
You ever saw of me and yet you slept
Unknowing, unaware that I was gone already,
Had packed my bags, had taken the keys,
Was far away in flight, above the roof, above the trees,
Yet standing in the doorway, my hand raised
In blessing or goodbye,
Standing on a distant bridge of morning
While you dreamed me by your side.
Evocative poem here Karen. It fills me with a strange unspoken sadness for all the unspoken goodbyes. Such a mixed image, a blessing and a goodbye. Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteNo goodby is ever easy...
ReplyDeleteit's always sad when one realizes they have to move on without that significant other they're so used to having around. goodbyes are always sad. it means one is forging on while another has to learn to steady themselves in the wake. powerful piece Karen. hope all is well.
ReplyDeleteI like this a lot Karen. I read it out loud a few times and found each line fitted perfectly to the next in sound and meaning.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad but I get the feeling she's relieved to finally say goodbye.
'Standing on a distant bridge of morning'
ReplyDeleteI love that line.
Everyone - First of all, I have to tell you that while this is autobiography - absolutely happened just as it says - it isn't a symbolic or longterm goodbye. I had a really early morning flight, as in 4:45 a.m., and while my husband wanted to take me to the airport, I sneaked around so as not to wake him. The sadness was entirely mine (mostly at my ever present fear of flying). I wrote this on the plane for him. Of course, the poem always belongs to the reader, but lest you feel sorry for my sad situation, I thought I'd explain. :-D
ReplyDeleteElizabeth - "Unspoken goodbyes" - I like that phrase! There is a sadness in those, yet they happen all the time in all sorts of ways, don't they?
jinksy - Agreed!
Naquillity - Thanks! All is well (read my comment above).
Margaret - I love poetry read aloud. (and I love that you read mine aloud! Thanks!
TFE - Kinda liked that one, myself. ;-)
Karen, I'm always so floored by how werll you write poetry that I have to read it twice to get the subject. You do it best. You make it all as one thought with no lapses or hiccups or wasted words. It's really a pleasure to read you. ~rick
ReplyDeleteVery poignant. The speaker is steeped in both sides, while the sleeper is still locked in the dream that replaces reality. And that's probably the heart of the problem.
ReplyDeleteThis was haunting and vivid. I was completely there with you. And your explanation... I can identify. Got a similar fear of flying myself. I can see you on the plane, scribbling away.
ReplyDeleteAw! It's one of the most aching feelings in the world, leaving someone you love even temporarily. You do it justice with the simplicity and beauty of this.
ReplyDeleteI find it so interesting that as writers we have one thing in mind as we write and our readers find their own meaning.....how awesome is that? :)
ReplyDeleteHi, Karen. Your tag "trips" tipped me off that it might not be personally sad for you, thankfully. That was very sweet of you to not wake your husband:)
ReplyDeleteBut while I was reading the poem, I felt the same deep sadness that everyone else felt. As always, the sadness is beautiful, and I love your beautiful voice. I also enjoy the story going on in the poem. The last two lines are wonderful. Having the person "face down in the pillow" is a very powerful introduction and image. Awesome picture, too!
Rick - You're always nicer than I deserve!
ReplyDeleteJason - You have nailed the emotion exactly. I spend a lot of my time feeling like I'm living in two worlds - the present reality and the reality for which I'm preparing myself. It really creates a wistfulness that I can't help having.
Chris - Thanks. It's good to have company!
Joseph - It is a hard thing. Maybe the hardest.
Noelle - Hello! I agree completely. It's kind of like hatching a butterfly and letting it go!
Julie - You read me right every time. There is a sadness here. I don't know why, because I'm a pretty serene, happy person in my real life, but when I start to write, out comes the melancholy. Thanks for your continued reading and support.
I'm with jason - very poignant, but without any false emotion. Not easy, well done, indeed!
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ReplyDeleteDave - Thank you!
ReplyDeleteWhoever wrote in Chinese characters - Sorry to remove your posts, but I have no idea if this is spam or real.
Hi Karen,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy this poem. I felt the sadness, too, and the great love. It can be read as someone leaving a relationship, so your explanation was a relief. It reads beautifully!
Annie - Thanks for your comments. I'm home again, safely and happily!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. We should always consider if it is the last time we might see of each other. Touching piece.
ReplyDeleteThis poem strikes a nerve via similar emotion. nicely said.
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad you explained that... but the words still make one's heart heavy. I always volunteer to pick up people, but never go to drop them. Goodbyes suck.
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