Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Inconstant Moon


















Argent is driving the bus, and unrequited love is the topic. While this doesn't really fit the bill, as my bus tickets often don't, it is about love. Well, sort of. For other bus riders and the Poetry Bus challenge, read here.


Inconstant Moon

On this day in 1969
Really, though at night,
We held our bakelite lifelines
And marveled at the thought
That man was on the moon.
When the call is over, we swore, 
We’ll go outside and wish 
On that same moon and wonder.
Meanwhile, you were in the army, 
And I was in my teens,
Left behind as surely 
As if you walked atop green cheese.

21 comments:

  1. Just a note to tell other Bus passengers that I'll get around as soon as I can. We have a family emergency that is taking most of my time (a good excuse for the throwaway ticket this week).

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  2. Terrific poem here, Karen, so very resonant.

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  3. green cheese? haha very cute, charming really.

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  4. I'd be very upset if this were a 'throwaway' ticket. If that's a throwaway, I'd love to see what you can do if you really worked on it!! Brilliant!

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  5. fitting the bill or not this is another great poem. love the green cheese ending... have a wonderful day.

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  6. cute poem and sad. my sister lost someone after high school in the veit nam war. good luck with your family matters.

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  7. first, bonus points for "bakelite lifelines" - we had a bakelite radio when i was little, though i didn't know what it was called until years later.

    the youth and wonder against the cold reality of what was happening seems to capture the spirit of those times so well - and wishing on the moon, even an inconstant one, seems like the only way to pull together such disparate times and places and feelings.

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  8. Very well done - & it sounded like unrequited love to me (well, maybe it was requited, but it was unfulfilled). I like it!

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  9. I really liked this, and the almost imperceptible change in tone as the poem progresses. Great opening and closing lines.

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  10. Far from a throwaway ticket, this is a great poem, really like it, really gets alot across in such a short space. Brilliant

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  11. I like this a lot--all the off rhymes give it a nice, lyrical feel, & the understated emotion works very well.

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  12. I love this peace so much!
    I am glad I stopped by!
    You are superb!
    ;)
    D.

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  13. Subtle and moody, I likes.The bakelite lifelines is a neat line.
    Hope all is well with the family and that the emergency is over?

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  14. Poignant memory sometimes serves us well and other times not so much, depends on what came after the memory that decides, Karen.

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  15. Yes, beautiful and poignant. I love the connection with the man walking on the moon and the man in the poem who must go to the army. And, of course, the moon of green cheese is a fantastic ending. How surreal those times must have been. I agree with John...the understated emotion is very powerful.

    P.S. - I just read your note about your mom. Thinking of you and sending best wishes your way for her recovery.

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  16. Just a quick stop in to say hello and thanks for your comments and wishes. My mother is improving, I believe, after a scare earlier in the week. She decided she needed no help to get up and about and took a tumble, but nothing else broken, and she's on the mend.

    I hope to get back to normal (is this the new normal?) soon. Oh, and I worried about the green cheese line being too cutesy. Not?

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  17. Been a while. Glad to see that you're still producing gorgeous and moving work!

    And hope everything is cool with your family stuff... be safe, everyone!

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