Friday, November 27, 2009

Darkness Falls





















Darkness falls like Autumn leaves,

Upon the brown and barren hills

And in my heart, I come to grieve


As winds blow cold across the eaves

And branches scratch the windowsill.

While darkness falls like Autumn leaves,


Small creatures seek their burrows deep,

Heralds of the coming chill,

And in my heart, I come to grieve,


For winter moves in like the thieves

That steal the light and sap the will

While darkness falls like Autumn leaves.


The year grows short and I believe

It is with rue my days must fill,

And in my heart, I come to grieve


For all the failures to achieve

And all the hopes gone unfulfilled.

While darkness falls like Autumn leaves,

In my heart, I come to grieve.


54 comments:

  1. oh Oh OH.
    Your rhyme is so perfect, subtle and living in the place in my heart for grief....

    Dang, Karen, you've got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. Such dark. Perfect for this time of year, the falling light...

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  3. Beautiful, Karen. A lovely form. And so perfectly dark.

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  4. So that's a vilanelle. You taught me something new today that English profs negelected to cover. It was coldly gorgeous, and I want to wrap up in a warm blankie and cry a little.

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  5. I have learned something here about form Karen. It feels to me like the things my clients share...such as how they feel when the first leaves of Autumn begin to fall.... when working at giving up much of the light of day to travel through winter seems a thankless journey..Dark and real
    Linda

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  6. Come Karen, let us light the torches and grab the pitchforks, gather the mob, and find that cold hearted bastard called winter and we will slay it together!

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  7. There's nothing more to say, you've said it all here. Wonderful.

    What about a vilanelle on summer for those of us on the other side of the world? Or perhaps we will need to wait till the seasons change for you.

    A poet needs inspiration not orders from the likes of me.

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  8. Karen-now I know why I was pushing you to write. Such a beautiful cadence. It just flowed through my heart. A perfect pic, a perfect length. Phrases that will remain. Excellent. ~rick

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  9. Reminds me of those early-19th century Romantics, Keats and Byron and Shelley... I don't know that any of them ever put together a villanele, but you've totally captured that elegant, contemplative melancholy. Rockin!

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  10. Aah! i enjoyed this very much...darkness falls like autumn leaves sings to me and its beautiful a tone though its dark.

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  11. Dianne - Thank you. This was started on the first grey, blustery day of this season, but with the sun shining in my window today, it's hard to remember feeling this way!

    Rachel - I really dread the coming of winter more and more each year. Can't you tell?

    Liz - It's good to see you! I hope you are well, and I thank you for your comments.

    Chris - This is a first attempt at a vilanelle. My all-time favorite is Dylan Thomas's "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night". Now, THAT'S a vilanelle! I enjoy playing with form, though, to see where it will take me. Thanks for the comment (and sorry 'bout the blankie tears!).

    Linda - I wonder how many people are truly affected by SAD? I know I just want to hibernate when the winter really does hit. Sorry if this one felt like work! ;-)

    TWM - I'm with you, Mark! Let's go!

    Elizabeth - Ah, a summer vilanelle would be such a different matter! What a change of mood the thoughts of summer bring. Hmm...it may be time for a little trip...

    Middle Ditch - Welcome, and thank you!

    Rick - If you hadn't pushed, this one wouldn't have happened! I'd been toying with it for a while, but couldn't get serious, then SOMEONE told me to get busy! Thanks, my friend!

    Joseph - What a wonderful compliment! I love the Romantics, although I'd never put my name with theirs except as "biggest fan." Thank you.

    swapnap - Welcome, and thank you. Yes, it is dark, but sometimes things just are...

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  12. "Do not go gentle into that goodnight . . . "

    Google it, if you don't already know it ; ;

    Yours is accomplished work in a very demanding form.

    Best wishes

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  13. Such beautiful writing with such beauty and the beauty of melancholy.

    Your words always bring such feeling
    into my heart.

    hope your holiday was lovely, Karen!
    Calli

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  14. Oooh, I love the villanelle form and this one is just perfect, Karen. I have a notebook full of them. Look out because they're addicting to write. Love & Blessings!

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  15. Beautiful , haunting imagery for me.

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  16. Dear Karen,

    Sheer excellence. Your vilanelle is remarkable
    in breath and scope. You've captured to quality
    of haunting melancholy that is difficult to do.
    Yes, dear, a gentle, haunting rhythm.

    Marie

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  17. A beautiful villanelle--& the form is very appropriate for the subject matter.

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  18. Doctor - You've mentioned my favorite vilanelle - actually, one of my favorite all-time poems. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    Calli - Thanks, dear. I hope your holiday was wonderful with your beautiful children.

    Marion - This is my first attempt, but it was fun to see where the form took me. I know I'll give this another shot. Thanks. Hope your holiday was good.

    Cherie - Hi! It's nice to hear from you. Hope you're all recovered and all is well. Thanks.

    Marie - What a treat to read such a flattering comment! You've made my day! Thank you.

    John - As I mentioned to someone before, it was interesting to see where the form led me on this. I had a line and mood in my head, and the dictates of the form sort of did the rest. Thanks, John.

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  19. This poem was absolutely gorgeous in its mood and solemn light.

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  20. The vilanelle is such an artificial form but you've managed to produce one that reads like it was inevitable - a perfect match between subject and form.
    On a much more prosaic note, it sounds like you need some vitamin D supplements and a light box.

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  21. Image and word so beautifully conceived. With darkness and loss, "In my heart, I come to grieve." And yet my beautiful friend, is felt the welcoming of knowing feelings - for another Spring is yet to come... Much love, Rose Marie

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  22. Superlative vilanelle, Karen. Remember studying the vilanelles of Theodore Roethke, W.H. Auden, and Dylan Thomas? Lovely form and structure - and your theme lends itself so readily.

    Oh, the coming of the short, dark days of winter - when energy wanes and we grieve for what we have lost. Great poetry theme!

    For winter moves in like the thieves
    That steal the light and sap the will

    This is gracefully expressive and - well...
    honestly, just a perfect poem.

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  23. Superb. There is something about a Vilanelle... probably because only the best poets usually attempt it.

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  24. Beautiful work, Karen! I love dark poems (no kidding), and this one is perfect for the coming winter. Those first two stanzas pull me right in. Lovely form, sis:)

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  25. I think you have a great poem here Karen, a lovely wistful mood.Very skilful to put it into a vilanelle and it works really well.Pip pip!

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  26. once again i have to just nod my head to all that's been said - this is stunning. the beat is perfect - your poem doesn't fit the form, it eclipses it. love it.

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  27. I like the chills and stillness of winter. But then we don't have them so severely cold out here. I loved the darknesse in it. :)

    I'll pick devil over god anyday!

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  28. I love the vilanelle. This one is haunting and will lurk in my mind for a spell.
    I've only attempted one, but you've encouraged me to try another. We'll see.
    Mairi's comment was spot on. As was, Dave King's.

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  29. Jason - That's high praise from you - which I'll gladly take! Thank you.

    mairi - One of those light boxes is exactly what I need! The sun shone today, and what a difference in my mood! Ah, well, at least the gloom provides inspiration. ;-) Seriously, though, thank you for your compliment. This is my first vilanelle, but I have always loved the form and may try again.

    Rose Marie - One of my favorite lines is Shelley's "O, wind, if winter comes, can spring be far behind?" I need to remind myself!

    Kaye - I do remember! So many of those poems are embedded within. Sometimes when I have a thought for a poem, I start to question whether it's mine or some long-remembered and forgotten line. Thank you for your supportive comments. You're such a wonderful poet friend and friend friend!

    Dave - Thanks for the "superb." Sometimes ignorance is bliss, hence my vilanelle attempt!

    Julie - Glad to oblige with the darkness! As I told someone else, at least it provides inspiration! Thanks for your always kind comments.

    TFE - Hey! I thought you fell under the bus! Just kidding. Thanks for stopping by and commenting, and for the very nice comment at that!

    joaquin - You always say the nicest things! Thank you!

    Rick - :-D

    Aniket - I'll have to say (at the risk of sounding ancient) that I used to like winter a whole lot more than I do now! And for the record, I'm for God!

    Kat - It is so much fun to play with different forms. I can't wait to see what you come up with! Thank you!

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  30. Wonderful piece... the message is coming across very well...!!!:)

    Good day!!!:)

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  31. Oh, Bravo Karen.
    This is a beautiful poem; the form, the subject and the emotion work so beautifully together.
    Stunning piece of writing.

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  32. I like the rhythm of it - quite melancholic...

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  33. Windowlad - Thanks for stopping by and for your nice comment.

    Titus - Thank you!

    SzelsoFa - Hi! Thanks for visiting and for your comment.

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  34. You're welcome!!! I love your works... it's fantastically written...

    >GoOD Day!!!:)

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  35. Thanks, Sandra!

    Windowlad - :-D

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  36. I'm quietly stunned by its deceptive simplicity, Karen. To write like this is to pluck the music of the night.

    In the comparison to the leaves, I felt the power of accumulation. Of those failures, and hopes gone unfulfilled. Time itself, I guess. It would take a swarm of them to complete a darkness. And such is the power of your vision here. It feels intimate, yet also enormous.

    I love this form of poetry. You always have such a keen ear for rhythm and line breaks, and I feel like this form entirely suits you. Bravo!!

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  37. Karen, this is a perfect time for the end of a year. The autumn, the grieving for things planned, but passed not to come. I love the way you did the form with the last line rotating and culminating in the final stanza. And still, tho grieving I feel a sense of the potential in the burrowing creatures, the leaves letting go in death, to the stark naked bare hills. Even with the grieving, there is a coming to the essential. Excellent. So good to be back in Karen-land

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  38. Karen, this poem leaves us with a feeling of melancholy for something we're losing, something we have to say goodbye to.
    Roll on spring!
    I love the form and rhythm - It's perfect.

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  39. Sarah - Thank you for your kind words. You always discern the mood of the poem just as I felt it.

    Cat - How nice to see you back in the land of the blogging! As you said, the grief is for the things undone, but after winter comes, the creatures leave their burrows and start again!

    Margaret - Roll on Spring, indeed! Thanks for your words, and enjoy the Christmas Markets!

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  40. Melancholy and loss, I find myself at odds, enjoying the bluster and push of winter, an excuse to hide indoors from the cold and sleep longer.
    Much enjoying your experminatation with form.)

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  41. Excellent villanelle! It's hard to meet all the requirements of repetition in a highly-patterend poem. Well done!

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  42. There are some poems that need to be shared to others because of the pure beauty that the poem and the writer possesses- this is one of those.

    Thank you for the passion in this piece!

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  43. Just haunting, Karen. You've inspired me to try a villanelle.

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  44. Must try another one of these.I've only done one...wasn't as good as yours.Well done Karen!

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  45. im not usually a rhymner and dimer....however i like your poem very much...and your rhyming.....thanks for sharin...and happy holidays Karen

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  46. This is the most beautiful villanelle I've read. Perfectly crafted. Wonderful!

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  47. Terrific villanelle, an insanely difficult form. I think you really pulled it off; the repeating lines are lines you want to hear more than once, and they build to something, accumulate the sorrow through the details that are added outside the repetition.

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  48. Just lovely. The thought behind the words and how beautifully they were wrought. I wish more poets would return to the more classic forms...

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  49. This is haunting and musical Karen.

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  50. Read Write Poets - I thank you for your comments and hope to find the time to visit your blogs and read your work. Please know, even if I don't respond to each individual comment, that I do appreciate your taking the time to read and leave your thoughts! I'll do better when the Christmas season is past.

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  51. Such a beautiful, touching image of melancholy in this season. I will surely not have visited your blog for the last time!

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