and revealing myself one poem at a time
of sundered sky;
even Atlas could not try
the weight they carry,
nor Zeus himself
nudge Gaia’s fertile thigh
to set in flight
their huddled winter tarry.
Beautiful image and a stunning poem. Bravo!
There is nothing I like or appreciate better than a poem about birds. I love the Mythology references and the alliteration in this. The photo reminds me of one of mine with doves. I'll remember this daily when I see the small "shoulder stones" on my porch.
Lovely poem, the first three lines are wonderful. I beginning to think winter poems are the best, aren't they?.
Of birds and of gods, are the affairs of affinity, so certain, so obvious.
That they do not migrate is to remind us that soon they will be in full song ad wing again into the sky looking for freshly washed cars to aim for. Spring approaches.
lovely photo and words. It is a hard winter for the birds....
Karen, this one is so beautiful and tiny. I can't explain what I mean by tiny, but it's a good thing. I see rabbits huddled, blending in almost contemplative. Then a move; slightly. Just a foot or so and stop again. for no apparent reason. Strange, but this means something to me. Thanks~rick
birds, mythology and picture all combine to make a beautiful picture. wonderful writing. have a great day.
The violence lurking behind this, hidden in 'sundered' with its breaking and tearing apart, and the immediate mental association with the rhyming 'thunder' reinfoced a few lines on by the appearance of Zeus, juxtaposed with the fragility of the birds is great. And the birds, delaying, 'tarrying' as you say, perhaps waiting something out. Winter, if they're anything like the rest of us, huddled down, waiting for warmer, gentler days.
Heh, I was going to say, "gosh, these words look familiar..." ^_^Excellent rhyme connections and rhythm motions throughout, and I'm glad that someone has stopped to consider the little ones. They fill up the cracks in the atmosphere, and you do them honor.
Joanne - Thanks for stopping by! I hope things have settled down a bit for you and we'll see you back online.Kat - Thanks! I know how you love the birds and all the other small critters that inhabit our world. (Sometimes, I think we inhabit theirs.)She Writes - Thank you! I'll try to get over to your place soon.TFE - Thanks. I have to admit that this is a ReadWritePoem prompt, so some of the words are "borrowed" from the prompt. The thought and the way they came together, though, is mine. These prompts often ask that we either use a word bank or adress a particular topic, and it's always interesting to see how everyone's take differs. Sort of like riding the bus! Fareed - Thank you!TWM - I'd gladly trade them a car for some thawed earth! Nice trade off, in my thinking.Juliet - Thanks. It has been hard on many creatures - great and small.Rick - You know, I had rabbits in mind, too, when I wrote this. I fiddled with the word "creatures" so that I could include things that take flight (besides birds). Thanks.Michelle - Thanks! I would imagine you got this latest round of Mother Nature's sugar coating. Hope you're staying warm!mairi - I truly wanted to indicate the weight of the winter - with a sky torn asunder, stones that must be shouldered, and just as you have said, the fragility of the creatures. I tried not to mix my mythology too much. Hope that made sense.Joseph - I'm eager to see yours! This is short, and hopefully, sweet to the reader. Thanks.
Hi Karen,Awesome... that's it.. awesome!!! No more compliments to say... you're great!!!:)
A different take on the bird prompt! ;-) Beautiful, and precious Karen.
Kelvin - Thanks so much for continuing to read and for your generous comments.Cat - The prompt was actually a list of words that we were supposed to "borrow" to create a poem. I used about half of them. Thanks, though.
Dear, Karen. You've done it again. You always move me so much and get me excited when I read your work. You have it in you, honey. I don't mean to discredit any of your earlier work when I say this (because it is beautiful), but how I love seeing you bloom even more so. I think I've told you that before, but I just love where you're going. Much applause to you. I haven't seen the prompt yet, though I love ReadWritePoem. But in a way, I'm glad to see your poem first. Then I will go look at the prompt. You always have a fresh and wonderful way of looking at the world. The first three lines draw me right in. I love the sounds, the small creatures, and the mythology. How awesome that you juxtapose little creatures with Atlas and Zeus! The power of small ones is beautiful, as is your poem:)
A most elegant poem that fuses realism and mythical delights with impossible physics! Love this one very much!
I read this nice poem a couple of times, read it aloud, too and kind of felt the noise one makes when walks in a thick snow.later on, I've read Mairi's comment and it helped me to understand the words that were previously unavailable for my mind better. and I still like the poem, don't worry :))))
Such a simple poem about a terrible time for creatures. I love it when I see the providence of God in their winter's famine. The cedar waxwings came by again this week, and they stripped the pyracantha entirely. I rejoiced in their full bellies.
i wouldn't have thought i had much in common with those little birds in the photo if i hadn't read your poem. but now i feel like we're in the same boat. you struck a chord in me with this - and i need to not tarry. thank you.
Happy New Year Karen!This charm reverberates with that lovely winter frosting, from alliteration skillfully employed, rhyme, and imagery with choice words.
K - Thank you!SzelsoFa - Sorry you had to puzzle over this one!Chris - There's nothing prettier than birds inthe pyrocantha! That you don't shoo them away is a credit to your generosity toward God's other creatures!joaquin - I'm sorry to hear this, but I think in many ways, we're all in this boat! Gel - Hi! It's nice to know you're still around. Thanks for the lovely compliment.
You've captured the huddled paralysis so well. And I love the nods to mythology--it makes the burden seem that much more profound. We are living in a frozen land. But your pen is warm, and flies with the best of them. :)
Sarah - Again, I thank you very humbly.
I love it, especially those first three lines. There is so much imagery contained in those few words.
Poor little things.Wish we could save them.
Hi Karen,You have blended the words beautifully to convey the herculean task the small creatures face confronting winter.
I like the paradox you create here with a few felicitous words, humility and meekness on the one hand, tenacity and enduring on the other.
Oooh...this is beautiful.
nicely done Karen...I really like first couple of lines....as I look at the wee birds around our feeder in the miserable weather....thanks for sharing this
Rachel - Thanks. I know you always champion the small creatures of the earth.rallentanda - Yes, but miraculously, they seem to survive.Derrick - Thanks!David - Thank you.Jessica GC - Thank you very much, and welcome.Wayne - Thank you for reading!
I love this on so many levels. If I knew how to express it with the flair that Kaye and Sarah did, I would. I'm a sucker for Greek mythology, so that helped. :)All I can say is that its the best 'winter poem' that I've read. And we all know, there have been many!
Mystical and magical. Your words, soft and strong, portray a winter harsh and perfect. So lovely!
I adore birds & nature, and this poem is a wonderful telling -- the crisp words, the rhymes.Thank you for writing it, for sharing it.
This elicited a big smile. The subtle weaving of myth with the wonders of nature, and the perfect compliment to the image.