I have carved you on my palm,
Burned you on my breast,
Crossed my heart with golden crosses,
Carved you deep into my palm.
I bleed to bear your losses,
Shed my skin for all the rest,
I have carved my palm with you, love,
I have burned you on my breast.
The altered repetition is an excellent device in a piece this brief. Without those slight changes, the phrase may have felt cumbersome. In this way, you lightened and accented ideally.
if anything to mark yourself with...love would be the thing...nice intensity to this...
ReplyDeleteThem that love are all well scarred.
ReplyDeleteI would say THAT is love!
ReplyDeleteThe repetition works so well with your theme and gentle expression of an abiding love.
ReplyDeleteVery beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThis poem needs reading out loud (and by YOU would be REALLY cool!) - it's got such a lovely rhythm to it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I recognize that scenario quite well - there's definitely pain and joy in love.
This has so much passion ~ Love this ~
ReplyDeleteBeautiful write!
ReplyDeletebeautiful Karen!
ReplyDeleteThe altered repetition is an excellent device in a piece this brief. Without those slight changes, the phrase may have felt cumbersome. In this way, you lightened and accented ideally.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2013/01/13/feckless/
...and anything less than that, well, it isn't love as i understand it. Another really excellent poem by you.
ReplyDeleteI see beyond in this. I love it!
ReplyDelete